They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. If that's the case, I suggest a change of phrase. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. And Ill encourage them to be proud. 11. Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. 16. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. I'm so much proud of you for completing your graduation and wish you will succeed in every . Living with a parents disapproval, or continually seeking a parents approval, is a life-long burden. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? You shouldnt be. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful May these Proud Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. I think I instinctively recognized that the balance of power had somehow been upset, but couldnt put my finger on it. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. "A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you are looking down, you cannot see something that is above you." - C.S Lewis 2. Fascinating post in two regards. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. Basically, its an ambiguous expression. PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. Focus on what is positive in their life and avoid getting overly . Everything you do is with excellence. No matter who they are, they all have one thing in common they make us feel loved. Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. As if Im mentally retarded and reading a book for the first time in my life, and hoping to get a cookie and a star sticker. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. How many people in your life can say, "I'm proud of you," and you take it fully and without any sort of resentment or dismissal? I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. Those of us who were brought up around this attitude are understandably wary of the phrase, and likely to avoid it. 9 Focus on Them When Praising Them PeopleImages / Getty Images 1. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. I wanted to know whether or not I was overreacting.He had no hand in my achievements and since he was the one who caused me those problems, I feel he has lost every right to use that phrase with me. There are alternatives to praise and saying "Im proud of you", and they include: I consciously have to stop myself from saying "Im proud of you". Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. It will show your appreciation for their words, it will help to strengthen your relationship, and it will create a positive and constructive environment. Make sure to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Be proud of who you are. Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. Yes, I'm sure you've come across "me too" in such situations, but it's very often ambiguous, or sounds arrogant. We had a really nice time. You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". It makes a difference I think. Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? You know that I'm bound to see you. 15. Here are some examples of ways you can respond to Im proud of you: These responses will show your appreciation for their words and will help to strengthen your relationship. I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. stories on the Parent Skills website are posted only as opinion or ideas, and are general in nature. Thank you for your kind words.. I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. Even if it's true, he says, "I don't want to think that I was walking around for a long time looking like hell.". What a surprise! The next morning, I woke up to an email in my inbox that was one line: "I'm really proud of you." But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. However what messages might our children actually hear? Also, I really like the litmus test of how you would feel on the receiving end. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. Its a way of saying I see the hard work youve put in and I appreciate it. B Blue Apple Senior Member 5. Best of BBC Future. 2. July 7, 2020 April 21, 2018 I dont care that I had to hear it from a video-taped personage. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. You could feel annoyed and put out. This is a very interesting discussion for me. So tell them it feels like you are bothering them. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. This will show your appreciation for their support and will help to strengthen your relationship. Im so happy to have you in my life, thanks! Don't remind them how far they've come. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . But, seeing youre proud of me, Im fine. (a short read). God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. They dont have more power than you, and in some cases less, but their opinion matters because they know you so well, and because you respect them and what they think. They are much more aware and can see through false motivation easily. A hug or a gentle touch of the hand can even get this message across. You must log in or register to reply here. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. You will even fall in love with me again seeing the next surprise! Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. Thank you for starting this. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. Pause before responding. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say. It reaffirms the choice you made is good and right, nothing more. However, is this what happens? They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. . Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. He remembers things that you tell him. I still think she was doing this at the time. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. 6. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. Show your appreciation for their words and use your response to create a positive and constructive environment. that he harrassed them or . Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help to encourage and motivate people. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. 2. 3. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? Compare: "Oh bear!" Feb 10, . I wouldn't trade your friendship for anything in the world. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? But is that really very useful? With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. And black adults (57%) are more likely than whites (43%) or Hispanics (42%) to know someone who falls into . Who put in the practice in order to win that tennis match? First, he is probably higher status / higher power. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. When my parents tell me that they are proud of me, I generally take it to mean that they recognize something I have done on my own merit as being worthy of praise. True - the parent might have spent hours helping the child get their homework done or even completing the childs assignment. 4. . 2. They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. Why is your manager taking credit for the work you put into the report? Well also discuss the power of words, the benefits of responding with gratitude, and how to show appreciation to others. Your partner is really happy about the achievement that you have made in your life or career. At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back".
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